lost in cage

Life is complex, however it is rather simple indeed. Recently, I had encountered many big questions about life; and these questions or callings keep bubbling in my mind. First of all, what is body? It is a bunch of cells that organizes and reacts to various stimulations? It is a body that is being told what to do and what to wear? It is a machine that keep on working that didn't know what is its value? Why do we often force ourselves to adopted changes that are non-sense or even rebell our moral value? Keep updating who is the next victim of the Edison's case? Yesterday, I went to see the movie " The Diving Bell and the Butterfly". The house was full, and many of them are the 30's and 40"s. What an interesting scene! Are they want to get some inspirations about life? After the movie, I asked my husband, " if you are going to die, what are the things that you wanted to do?" He didn't hesitate and said," i would like to sit at the balcony which facing the ocean, and then look at all of my photographys and enjoying my last bite of jambo scallop sushi." It is such a precise answer, so, what is my answer?

Before I watched this movie, I had already read a similar inspirating story from the point of view of an art therapist. The patient name is William. His story is somewhat likes Jean-Dominique Bauby's story. Both of them are being locked up in their body, and yet their soul and imagination are far beyonds the ordinaries. "What is blessing?" That's the first reflective question that come to my mind. How's my life compares to William's and Bauby's ?Why do I still sitting here, and slowly forgetting my dreams and desire? Why I cannot see beyond the beauty that lies beyond the ordinary? What do I abandon my dreams ? Why do I ignore my inner self?

Being odinary, is it a blessing? Without being bulleying, being invisible in the crowds which they all wear the same uniform- social value, same languages and viewpoints. Is it a shame to be outstanding?

If somebody ask me, what are the things that I want to achieve before I die, I would say, " I want to write a novel of a rather complex and yet simple story about mother."